February 2024

Dear Community,

I can’t believe my last newsletter was in April 2024. So much has happened since then, as you can probably imagine.

Over the past year, I’ve been working in my new, very challenging yet deeply interesting job as a social worker in a quite nice company. At the same time, I was teaching quite a lot of yoga. I realize that I pushed myself too hard in almost every aspect of my life—work, freelancing, personal matters, and the pressure I put on myself. My body sent me many signals throughout the year, but I completely ignored them.

Then, in autumn 2024, I developed tinnitus in my left ear, which led to major exhaustion and depression. Looking back, I’m grateful that I was able to recognize the situation fairly quickly. Thanks to the higher divine and the support of my family and friends, I allowed myself to take sick leave, shut down my freelance yoga teaching, and admit myself to a psychosomatic clinic near Chiemsee. That was just the beginning of my healing journey. The first three months were filled with guilt—toward my company and myself- confirmed my internalized beliefs.

When I returned to Berlin, thinking I was stable enough to go back to work, my body said no. Once again, I felt unwell—perhaps because I put too much pressure on myself. I admitted myself to another clinic for two weeks, as I was struggling a lot. It was shocking to see how the healthcare system functions—no real therapeutic support, only medication treatments. This experience left me somewhat traumatized. I saw so many people being treated solely with medicine, yet I also met incredible souls during this difficult time, for which I am deeply grateful.

During this period, I was also diagnosed with ADHD by my psychologist. This helped me tremendously, as it gave me insight into why I function differently. Understanding myself better has been a huge relief.

As part of my healing journey, I made the decision to go completely sober in 2025 and commit to a healthier lifestyle. It might seem radical, but it was necessary—sometimes, as we all know, it’s difficult to maintain balance in life. This year, for me, is about learning balance. That’s also why I’ve decided to join another program this summer for three months, living and working to further gain more stabilisation.

Why am I sharing all of this so openly?

Because I’ve experienced firsthand how heavily stigmatized mental health struggles still are. People react in very different ways, and many simply cannot imagine what it feels like. I believe this is because many people are not truly in touch with themselves or their emotions. Those with psychological disorders are often left behind.

Our societal systems are designed for efficiency and profit. However, in our welfare states, social aspects do play a role, and I’m incredibly grateful that I have the opportunity to take this pause.

Additionally, as a yoga teacher and part of the neurodivergent community, I want to raise awareness. Every person’s brain and perception are unique, and that deserves recognition. That’s why I choose to speak up.

I am still in this pause, which isn’t always easy. I am still revovering and on a longer healing journey. I really miss teaching and hope to return soon, perhaps with just a few hours to start. But hear me out:

Health is the most important thing. To flow with life rather than constantly striving to achieve something, to trust the creative process instead of forcing outcomes—that’s the mindset I am embracing.

Life is good, and it means well. This is a mantra we should all internalize. 

„Everything has a deeper meaning.“

As this newsletter turned out longer than expected, I will write again in a few weeks with more updates—especially about my Ayurveda diet, which I’ve followed for a year, but I am not able to follow completely anymore. 🙂

Stay tuned

Isabella XX